20 May
2012

Posted in: Giggles
By dladmin    No Comments

Oh…Le—P–Eeeewwww!!

Okay…so it’s been a week since my last post.  Can you tell we are nearing the last days of school?  I don’t know what it is about this time of year…but I swear the days actually get shorter, not longer!  I’ve been to more musicals, programs and award ceremonies than you can shake a stick at!  Not to mention the fact that I’ve had a round of in-laws pop in for a visit, I still have a cross-country-traveling-husband AND the children are still IN school, so that means we are still operating on my school year schedule.  Is it any wonder why I haven’t had the chance to update the blog this past week?!

At any rate, I apologize for my lapse in info.  I will try to do better this week.  So, last week I found I myself at yet, another awards ceremony.  This one happened to be for the athletic side of my eldest kiddo.  He is rounding out the fifth grade…even with all of the homework debacles we had the pleasure of experiencing in the past several weeks–we are fairly certain he will be promoted to the sixth grade…sigh of relief.  Anyway, he was on the JV Basketball team during the regular season, so during “awards season” he would be receiving a trophy.  Yeah…one more night out for us.  In my defense of a little lack of enthusiasm about the ceremony–even he wasn’t fired up about having to attend.  He just wanted the cookies that were offered at the after-party!  Okay, so my little Glow Worm and I are sitting in the bleachers (my future NBA superstar opted to sit with his friends) waiting for the fifth grade to be announced, when all of a sudden I smell something.

I shifted a bit in my seat.  My Glow Worm is twisted side-ways in his chair playing his 3DS, and hasn’t moved or made any indication that he notices this new and extremely potent aroma that has now filled our general area.  The fifth graders are called to line up.  The athletic director instructs them to organize themselves in alphabetical order.  That was a scream.  The parents were holding their breath to see just how many of their children had actually mastered the skill of ABC-order by the end of their fifth grade year.  The parents in our section were holding their breath for an entirely different reason.  The smell was back.  I began to shift again.

There was no one sitting on my right.  Only my Glow Worm to my left.  The man on the other side of my Glow Worm began to lean further to his left.  I readied my camera for my superstar’s name.  I hit record.  The smell got stronger.  My eyes began to tear up.  The man to the left of my Glow Worm got up and moved.  I almost dropped my camera.  My superstar received his trophy, and took his stance in the winners’ box.  I leaned down and whispered to my odorous child, “Son, is that you that I keep smelling?” He just looked up at me with his big blue eyes, grinned really wide, and let another silent, yet deadly stink bomb loose…”Yup.”

Gag.

Can I please tell you, I almost choked sitting right there in the bleaches of their school?!  I know that as the mother of boys, this is something that I am simply going to have to deal with.  But, come on!  There is a time and a place for everything.  Completely clearing out the area of bleachers by using nature’s own version of tear gas is simply not the time OR the place!  After about fifteen more minutes of agonizing assaults on my senses, he sat up and whispered in my ear, “Mom, I think maybe I need to go to the bathroom.”  Ya think?  Ugh.

The remainder of the awards was much more pleasant.  I will say this for him, if the military could somehow bottle what he was letting go of…we’d have some high-grade chemical warfare on our side!  For sure…without a doubt!

Here’s hoping your day smells like a ROSE!

-Dallas